


unto the nest again

by frumpkinspicelatte



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Campaign 2 (Critical Role), Family Feels, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Introspection, Mansion Fic, Mighty Nein as Family, Team as Family, just general softness tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26986636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frumpkinspicelatte/pseuds/frumpkinspicelatte
Summary: Most of the world is not designed with firbolgs in mind. Caduceus's room in the mansion, built to accommodate his size, gives him a sense of peace he has not felt for quite some time.(Set during Episode 111.)
Relationships: Caduceus Clay & Caleb Widogast, Caduceus Clay & Fjord, Caduceus Clay & Melora the Wildmother, Caduceus Clay & The Mighty Nein
Comments: 17
Kudos: 109





	unto the nest again

_If I can stop one heart from breaking,_   
_I shall not live in vain;_   
_If I can ease one life the aching,_   
_Or cool one pain,_   
_Or help one fainting robin_   
_Unto his nest again,_   
_I shall not live in vain._

_-Emily Dickinson_

Caduceus let out a sigh as he relaxed into the large armchair. He instinctively began to curl up, practically hugging his knees to his chest, just as he had done for most of his travels with the Nein. It took him a moment to remember there was no need for that. Caleb had made furniture specifically to fit him, something he couldn’t remember having had for quite some time now. Visiting Veth and Yeza had only made this more apparent. They had a lovely house, but Caduceus could barely stand up or sit at the table while he was there. That was a bit of an extreme example, but it just seemed to sum up what he had learned–that most of the world was not designed with him in mind. 

Especially not soft armchairs, or bathtubs, or fancy four-post beds. Firbolgs living in the forest were not used to such things.

(Once he had thought he would never leave the Blooming Grove.)

And now?

It would be nice to go home, of course. It felt inevitable in some ways. Caduceus couldn’t imagine Her wanting to keep him away from his home forever. And his family would of course welcome him. (He hoped that they were welcoming Nila and her family as their own.)

But at the same time, what would it be like, to return home for good after having seen so much? Would it feel the same? Caduceus didn’t really feel the same. He felt like a snake shedding its skin–perhaps he had grown too much to fit back in again. In some ways it had been easier before he left, before he knew what he was missing.

In some ways, the Grove was starting to feel less like home at all. Temporary or not, the Nein were Caduceus’s home now, and had been for quite some time.

Caduceus supposed that only She knew what it would be like when he returned.

He began to massage his knee, already feeling the difference it made when he did not have to shrink himself in order to fit into a space. Normally it was only storms that made it ache, but the stresses of traveling seemed to have taken their toll, both physically and emotionally. Emotions were running especially high after last night’s dinner, after they had listened to that man tell Caleb that he had never had the slightest agency in his own life, that breaking him had been necessary.

And yet, Caleb had walked away from that to build this mansion, to make the love he felt for his friends into a tangible thing. Caleb had been thinking about this after coming face-to-face with Trent. Caleb had been thinking about this since _before he had even met Caduceus_. 

There was much Caduceus did not understand about Caleb. While Caduceus had grown up surrounded by love, Caleb had known only fear. He often retreated within himself. He spoke in an intellectual way that Caduceus didn’t understand. These academic magics, this Dunamancy, it was all beyond the grasp of Caduceus, who had spent so much time knowing only his immediate surroundings. And Caleb’s views on destiny were strange to Caduceus–while having a mentor like Trent, how would he be able to develop things like faith and trust, how could he believe that a higher power wanted him to bloom rather than be broken?

And yet, for all that Trent had done to him...Caleb still loved, and was loved, and transformed through that love. There was much to admire in that.

Caduceus felt like he understood him better now.

Caleb, along with the rest of the Nein, wanted Caduceus to fit. So badly that he had built Caduceus his original home, inside this home for the Nein. Because they all wanted each other to fit, even though they didn’t feel they fit themselves. And that brokenness was exactly what drew them together. They didn’t need this mansion to know that they were each other’s home...but what they did need was a place to relax.

It was nice to fit, Caduceus mused. It was nice to fit in a space. Because the furniture was finally big enough, because your friends genuinely cared for you, because your goddess had a plan for you.

And also for the person you had helped bring to Her.

(Fjord’s meditation room was just as much a gift to Caduceus.)

If nothing else, he had helped these people find a place to belong, and they had helped him find a place to belong.

She had been right to bring them together. She always had been. Caduceus closed his eyes and said a silent prayer of thanks.

Later, he would have a long, soothing soak in his large bathtub, and crawl into his large bed where he could stretch out to his heart’s content while still having room to share with someone else if he wanted to.

But for now, it was enough to sit in his chair, and massage his knee, and be at home.


End file.
